Chapter 6: Samoa

• GRACE FOR KATHLEEN • • 1. Childhood Bliss • • 2. The Breakdown • • 3. A Normal Life • • 4. The Plumbing Days • • 5. Illness Returns • • 6. Samoa • • 7. Under Attack • • 8. A Calm in the Storm • • 9. Another World • • 10. Moving Forward • • 11. Closing Words • • 12. The Awakening: The Reality of Mental Illness • • POETRY •



I told my Grandmother I wanted to come out there and I was going to get on the next plane. This was my second trip to Samoa I went with my mom and little brother when I was 17 my aunt and uncle lived there. So on June 11th 1993 I landed in American Samoa. My aunt and grandmother picked me up and were very happy to see me. Me and my aunt stayed up late just talking about the family and what Ihave been doing. The next morning I seen my Uncle I gave him a big hug and was so happy to see him I met my cousins I hadn't seen in years and a couple of ones that were younger that I had never met. For once my mind was at ease, my grandmother was there visiting from Texas, and all was good I didn't have to worry about going to a hospital or having my daughter taken away. I was far away from all my problems and I felt finally free. I found myself taking the bus from Tafuna to Pago Pago where I would spend the day on the beach collecting seashells swimming in the warm ocean I loved it. One day I was in town were there was a museum in front of the museum were a few older men taking I walked up to them and said hello they offered me some Kava and I made new friends, they talked about the Samoan culture and I was amazed at some of the story's. One day when I got home from the beach my aunt told me my mother called and said I was suppose to be taking medication and filled her in on my unstable life, my aunt told her I was just fine and not to worry. One day I went looking for the church I went to when I was 171 found it it was St. Joseph's Catholic church I walked in and there was a man repairing the pews we talked for awhile then he brought me to the Priests house behind the church there I met Fr. Sebastian he was from India he offered me lunch and I told him about my family here and I was visiting I said I am a plumber and if you need any work done 111 do it, he brought me to the back of the church were there was a little room he needed the water heater disconnected, so I came back the next day and disconnected it and drained it. Fr. Sebastian was very nice to me and said come and visit any time. One night I was sitting on my bed writing a letter to my right I herd a voice of an angel say "Don't" and then there was a voice of a demon saying "Waco" I started praying please lord don't let me go crazy. Time was going by I was carefree and happy my family was being very good to me. I walked into my grandmother's room and said Hello my grandmother says in a stern voice Kathy you come here without asking your uncle you have no money how are you going to get back? I said I guess 111 get a job so I met this guy at a pool hall and told him I need work I said I was a plumber he said let me talk to my boss, he said he would give me a try, so for one week I worked building a new house, on Friday he gave me a check for 100$ and said your not going to work out. I went and bought some food _ for the house and made a nice dinner, my uncle John from Western Samoa came for a visit he is a brother of the Catholic Church he is a happy soul and I was happy to seeliim. One Sunday we walked to church and went to mass he handed me 50 cents to put in the basket. When we got home my other uncle planned a fishing trip I wanted to go so bad s but the answer was No. after a couple days they came back with tons offish that night I had coconut crab it was very good. For some reason my grandmother wasn't talking to me and every time she passed my pitcher she would hit it, I can take a clue. I made friends with the niebor down the street Thomas he was a white man married to a Samoan woman he had tons of kids he told me lots of stories about him living in Samoa and he said come by anytime, so I would pop in here and there to say hello then be on my way. One day my grandmother blew up at me she said you brought the Devil Spirit to her island and I want you off my island!! I walked out the door and went and sat at the bus stop my cousin came up to me and said my mother wants to see you now, I just ignored her and got on the bus she gets in front of the bus and I said to the bus driver Go around her she wants to kick my ass, so he did and I was like whew! My little cousin was 6ft2 and I really didn't want to deal with her. I got into town spent some time with the older men in front of the museum drinking Kava after awhile I walked into the local bar and started talking to the woman bartender, after awhile I told her I have no place to sleep tonight, she said I could come to her house when she closed the bar we went to her house and I slept in a warm bed, the next day she dropped me off in town I went to visit Fr. Sebastian he gave me food and we had a nice visit, Later I went to the bar again and the bartender's parent's invited me to spend the night with them in the bar, with no burglar alarm the slept there every night, so I spent the night with them sleeping on the floor the next day I sat on the beach wondering what the hell am I going to do? That night I slept on the beach under a full moon and a palm tree, the next day I headed back to Tafuna I stopped at Thomas's house and told him what was going on, He said take a shower and all get you some fresh cloths so I did he gave me food and I slept in a warm bed the next morning came and I had to go back to my uncles house, I walked in the door my cousin yells dad Kathy's here I walked up the stairs he comes out of the bedroom yelling where have you been? I said I just want to get my stuff and leave, he said 111 call the police on you, right then my aunt comes up the stairs saying Kathy we got you a plane ticket to go home, my uncle says stay in your room till you leave I don't want to see you! So I stayed in my room, the next day I was to return home my aunt comes in my room and said its time to go, I walked in my grandmothers room crying she kissed me and said I forgive you she put a Lay around my head, I couldn't leave without seeing my Uncle so I went in the back yard where he sat with his friends I said with tears in my eyes uncle I am so sorry for bringing you grief I love you, I went and got in the truck, he came up to the window and said I forgive you and kissed me, He said you can come back someday if you want and said I love you. My aunt drove me to the airport and gave me some money buy yourself something to eat hi Hawaii she kissed me goodbye and I got on the plane. I got home and called my moms house but no one was there, so I called my older brother and he said O no your back! He got a hold of my mother and soon her and Candace pulled up I was so happy to see them and they were happy to see me, at home I wasn't acting crazy or talking about delusions I was home safe and sound.