Chapter 11: Last Words

Lord make me an arrow strong and straight to shoot at your will, guide me lead me put me on a path that leads to you. Grant me the wisdom to get by each day, the fortitude to move ahead. Lord bend the arrows of the evil one before they can pierce me, for you didn't grant me a spirit of fear but of love and sound mind. More then once you plucked me from the fire. I called to you I was in great distress and you were there, you granted me graces to survive my darkest days of madness, you were there you prayed over me and I pulled through. I praise the Lord Jesus Christ.

This date April of 2006 13 years since my Illness returned I go through each day with god's grace. I pray to the lord to pray for the mentally 111, to grant them the hope and faith to survive there Illness. Lives are lost because of Mental Illness. People live in darkness because of Mental Illness, they try to hide their Illness and feel shame for having it, I pray they can turn to you as I have from the beginning, I pray there shame is lifted and they no longer feel they have to hide their Illness. Let them no its ok to see a psychiatrist and take medication, they are there to help ease their mind, no matter what they go through. God bless the Mentally 111.

Seeing a doctor and talking about your life and what's happening does help, you don't have to hide your world, get it off your mind. If your feeling hopeless there a medication if your delusional there's a medication if your feeling anxiety there's a medication, this is 2006! Hey! There's a medication! And really now! Your never alone in this life God takes care of his children he loves you! He knows your prayers before you pray them! Today yes I still hear voices its been over 9 years of hearing them, and if there is another 9 years ahead of me of hearing them I know 111 get by I am here today because that is God's will. I have revealed my life and I am not ashamed of it. I am hoping my experience can help someone who also suffers from mental Illness I have been there done that what's next? There's a way to live a productive life you can beat the odds I have! And I have nothing to hide. I have a saying life is a gift you get to pick what wrapping _ paper to put it in. writing has always been a therapy for me it helps heal my spirit it lets me know hey I am alive here! It sets me free, free to tell the truth and not be ashamed. I can believe what ever I want to, so my doctor dose not agree with everything I tell him. Jesus does and that makes me happy. Call me a prayer warrior or call me a nut I know why I am here and I know why I suffer, do you know why you're here and why you suffer? I have a battle to win in this world and the next I am a maid servant of my Lord. Why? Because I love him, He saved me reading the bible he taught me he made his will known to me and I am so very thankful! What did my Mental Illness do it brought me to the lord. I had my requests in prayer and he not only herd them he answered them. Now I let you in the mind of a Bipolar- schizophrenic read my poetry and see what the lord had done for me. hey guess what? He can do the same for you! Just call his name JESUS!

 

 

Revelation 8:10

Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer I tell you the Devil wilt put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for 10 days, be faithful even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life, he who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death.

 

 

Ephesians 6:10

 

Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power, put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the Rulers, against the Authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, there for put on the full armor of god, so that when that day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground.

 

 

John 10: The Shepherd and his flock

I tell you the truth, the man that doesn't enter the sheep pen by the gate but climbs in by some other way is a thief and a robber, the man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep the watchman opens the gate from him and the sheep listen to his voice, he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out, when he has brought out all his own he goes on ahead of them and his sheep follow him because they know his voice, but they will never follow a stranger in fact they will run away from him because they do not recognize a strangers voice.

 

 

Matthew: 43

 

When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, I will return to the house I left. When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked then itself, and they go and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse then the first.